Wednesday, 25 July 2012

The Whub Whub Culprit

So, the other day I was driving along in my beautiful car, Isabella, when all of a sudden she starts to make the saddest sound. It was like a piece of her was wounded and I couldn't figure out what it was. I pulled into the closest parking lot and inspected my girl. I knew the sound was coming from some where near the front passenger tire, and prayed that I hadn't bent any part of her wonderful shape. Everything seemed alright so I continued on to my destination, but again the horrific noise plagued us like some sort of cruel intentioned beast was mocking me for not understanding the delicate dynamics of my precious automobile.

My destination was Home Depot and once I pulled up to the amazing store, I immediately began a text to Mr. Stuff.

Me: "The car is making a funny whub whub sound and it shakes on the passenger's side."
Mr. Stuff: "Something rubbing?"
Me: "Don't know, will you take it for a drive tonight?"
Mr. Stuff: "Sure."

Just to be clear, I am a fanatic about my car, I LOVE HER!!! So frequently I hear strange sounds and feel slight movements that cause me to wig-out, thus turning to Mr. Stuff who has the job of calming his fanatic wife and dispelling any imaginary concerns I have for Isabella. I could feel his eyes roll when he hit the 'send' button on his phone. But this time I wasn't conjuring a situation up in my head, this time there was a serious issue with my car and I didn't think Mr. Stuff was totally understanding the gravity of the situation.

I again started my trek up the hill toward home, all the while fretting about the terrible possibilities of what was causing such a whub whub effect on my car and my sanity.

"Maybe its a rock that's wedged in the hub cap." I said to myself. "But what if it breaks free and flies out and into some unsuspecting jogger running up the hill? Would I be held accountable for his injury?" Or "What if it's that little black and white dog that was at my friends house when I dropped a package off? Come to think of it I never saw that dog again after he ran out of the house! OH MY GOD I HAVE SOMEONE'S LITTLE BLACK DOG WEDGED IN BETWEEN THE TIRE AND WHEEL WELL OF THE CAR!" And then, "Ok you don't have anyone's dog wedged between the tire and the wheel well, you would surely have heard something. But, what if the nuts on the tire are lose or a couple have fallen off and now the tire is going to break free from the car and roll into on coming traffic? What if I have to leap out of the car's door because I can no longer control the vehicle because I am only driving on 3 tires. That's really gonna hurt!" But then I calculated the chances of the nuts actually falling off the wheel and realized that this scenario was unlikely but, "What if the front axles are ready to snap and I'm unable to turn the wheel and I run into the gas station lot? What if I hit one of the gas pumps and cause a massive explosion? What if I forget my purse in the car and am knocked unconscious by the sudden impact of the vehicle hitting the gas pump, am thrown from Isabella and behind a shrub? What if the car explodes and all they find in there is a bag of romaine lettuce, some toothpaste, a jug of milk and my purse? What if they are looking for my ID and find my driver's license and have to notify next of kin? Wait, I better program an In case of Emergency contact behind Mr. Stuff's name. Should I pull over now, or just risk it and drive up the rest of the way?" I continued driving.

That evening I totally forgot about the possible wound my car had incurred, I am a bad bad automobile owner, and Mr. Stuff failed to remind me of his promise to take her for a spin to access the damage. The next day my son, who has received his learner's permit, jumped into the driver's seat and readied himself for a trip to work. As he eagerly threw the car into 'drive' I thought I should ask him if he could feel a difference in how Isabella was handling.

Me: "Do you hear that?"
Kid: "What?"
Me: "That whub whub sound?"
Kid: "What?"
Me: "Listen. See, whub whub whub whub.and it pulls to the right."
Kid: "You've lost it Mom."
Me. "No listen. It's in the front passenger's side."

This morning, I decided to venture out and forage for food at Costco. I hesitantly write out my list, pack up my things and head out the door. Today I am determined to solve this conundrum and will prove that I have not lost my marbles. I am the mistress of this automobile and it is my duty to ensure she is kept in top performance, after all Isabella is a Jaguar, a luxury car, a sexy beast.

See, I'm not a lunatic!

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