Cheese

Isn’t cheese an incredible creation? The food of the Gods. 

Solidified milk curds that form a wonderful snack of endless possibilities. Cheese can go with anything; cereals, desserts, fruits and vegetables, flesh and fowl, grape juice and fine wine. Hot or cold it is a wonder to the senses. I love how it pulls into fine stringy cheese hairs when I try to bite it off a pizza, and how it pools on a plate and then gets crusty bits when I over heat it in the microwave. Cheese is fun! I would probably bath in cheese if I could. I wonder if I can absorb cholesterol by osmosis?

Good-Bye Mr. Beyond the Skies the Limit

It saddened me today at the news that Neil Armstrong had passed on.

 


 For those of you who don't know what an iconic man Mr. Armstrong was, it was he who left his foot print on the moon in 1969 and spoke the unforgettable phrase "That is one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind."

I can not imagine his feelings or his thoughts as he slowly stepped out of the Apollo 11 Lunar Module, and took that first step. Eleven other people have walked on the moon, but he was the first person to feel alien soil beneath his feet and truly understand that there is so much more than THIS!

Neil Armstrong proved to the world that really the sky is not the limit, that there is so much more to this universe than what we mere humans can comprehend. He taught us to live life like there is so much more than 'us', to understand that this world is really just a little bit of what's really out there, and that this world is just a little bit. We are all placed here for one purpose, and that is to be all we can be and to do all we can do to make this world a thing of greatness. That it is our duty to explore beyond what our mind thinks it knows, and to believe that there is something more than this.

Thank you Mr. Neil Armstrong for proving that the sky really isn't the limit.

VanessaCanevaro.Com

Whooohooo!!! My new and improved site is up and running and I couldn't be more proud. It has been designed by a real person and not me! 

Ain't she a beaut?!!

VanessaCanevaro.com

Dear Girls Who Were in the Outdoor Public Washroom Before Me!

 

I am writing this letter in regards to an incident I would like to report that occurred on August 16, 2012.



Dear Girls Who Were in the Outdoor Public Washroom Before Me,

I would like to bring attention to a situation I had while using a public restroom facility somewhere between Alberta and Saskatchewan.

It was already a very, very long drive and the venti Caramel Macchiato (which is so incredibly delish that I can not leave town without purchasing one), was saying, "Hey, it's time to evacuate the premises." Being a lady, I can not and will not treat a highway, gravel road, small shrub in the ditch or the side of a vehicle as my personal bathroom, so I waited very patiently until we made the 1 1/2 hour drive up and down hills, over bumps and through valleys.

Believe you me, Girls Who Were in the Outdoor Public Washroom Before Me, it was a great feat of accomplishment to endure the twitchy feeling of really having to pee. The leg jiggling, bum scooching and brain distracting was intense, but I did it and for that I am very, very proud. The sight of the roadside pull over made my eyes tear-up and I felt as I would burst with immense joy as the truck rolled into the parking lot outside the washrooms. As fast as my finger could push that seat belt lock I took off out of the truck and threw open the first bathroom stall door.

Oh the horror, oh the disappointment, oh the pain in my body when I saw the swarms of flies circling the toilet. The smell was overpowering to say the least, but even more disturbing that the horrendous stench that came from this facility was from the brown pile of poop that had proudly perched itself on the back of the toilet seat. Now, being a very girlie girl I do understand the need to straddle any public washroom toilet because, hey, stuff may get stuck or go 'up there', and I know that I am NOT a coordinated woman so it is an acrobatic feat for me to carry out such a life threatening task as the toilet straddle, but never ever in the history of EVER have I left a deuce on a toilet at home or in public.

I have brought this complaint to your organization in hopes that someone will do DNA testing on the poop to find out who accidentally left it behind. I reported this incident to my friend Tara directly after it occurred and she made a very good suggestion as to what should happen to the individual who mistakenly took a poop on the toilet. She thinks the, "Girl should have her pink card taken away!" and I totally agree with her.

Is there a way the Pink Card can be revoked?

Sincerely,
The Girl Who Had to Use the Other Bathroom Instead.

Gondola Gonorrhea

Yep, that's me in the gondola as we ascend the mountain. Notice the uneasy/terrified/hey, I might throw-up look on my face and my son's 'Hey you, I got her on this box of terror!' grin.

For most people, riding in a plastic cube suspended by 2 inch cables a million feet in the air is no biggie, I mean really, what could possible go wrong? But for me, the possibilities are truly endless and let me tell you why.

1. Has nobody else watched the gondola crashes on You Tube? This is a very real thing people and I don't bounce well.

B. There is no reason why my body needs to be higher than the trees.

3. OK, so what really is moving this thing? How the heck does something this heavy roll up a mountain? And what happens if that power source suddenly stops? Will we stop? Roll backwards to our doom and become like swinging bumper cars crashing into each other until finally the unlucky car at the bottom is squeezed back into launch site. What if I'm in that car that's plastered against the wall of the launch site? That's going to really hurt!

4. Those doors on that box don't look super secure to me! There are no locks or latches, just a slidy thing, and why would there be windows that open at all? Do they want me dangling body parts out of something this high in the air?

e) Why is it that gondola and gonorrhea are so similar? They even sound the same. Is it because the steps in treating both conditions, the fear of gondola transportation and gonorrhea are pretty much the same?

"There are two goals in treating a sexually transmitted disease, especially one as easily spread as gonorrhea. The first is to cure the infection in the patient." Ummm...the first treatment in gondola transportation fear is to take the patient by the hand and lead her into the plastic box, holding her hand through the whole process, curing the need for her to run like a terrified maniac because she can't let go of her son's hand, that would be rude. "The second is to locate and test all of the other people the person had sexual contact with and treat them to prevent further spread of the disease." Force other family members, husband, to ride in the cage of doom thus causing extra reason for her faux bravery because, hey, she ain't no baby. She won't be the one who further spreads this condition.

Yes, I was very, very, very scared and did sing 'The Wheels on the Bus' the whole way up and chanted, "Thousands of people do this every day, they're ok." as I went higher and higher. I did contemplate walking back down the mountain when I reached the top, but then decided that it would be more of a roll/plummet down the mountain side as there are no actual steps on Sulphur Mountain (which I think is really quite inconsiderate. I do plan on sending a strongly worded email someday to someone who has a say in something) so, I did ride the gondola all the way down again, but this time it was much easier like a bubble floating about, bouncing on the tree tops popping in and out of the clouds.

Maybe next time, if there is ever a next time I will read the suggestions for the treatment of gonorrhea first.
'Never treat yourself without being seen by your doctor first. Your health care provider will determine the best and most up-to-date treatment' and just not go on the gondola at all.

Sorry...Did You Say Something?"

Often when people are talking to me, I’m not listening. My brain has already wandered off to some foreign valley where dreams are born and wishes come to be. I stare blankly at their faces, smile and nod, but am not really paying attention. I’m in flight on the back of an eagle feeling the rush of the wind as it washes my body clean from the filth of the ordinary. I’m rolling through the grasses of a long forgotten glen, carelessly absorbed the sweet freshness of the summer’s innocence. I’m totally enthralled in the book I read yesterday, as still it takes my mind into the dark depths of unknown caverns exploring the cracks and crevices that lead to the Earth’s core.

I see your mouth moving and watch the spit dangle from your bottom lip. I wonder if you know you have a piece of black stuff caught between your teeth or that you already lost me when you said hello. "Sorry...did you say something?"